RISING FROM A CRITICAL BLUNDER---A MOTHER’S LOVE AND A SON’S COMMITMENT

The story of Willyjean B. Sepria and her son John Bert Alburo

By: Norberto Betita

Pictures of homeless children courtesy of Google

The local City population Office reported that Surigao City has a higher rate of teenage pregnancy. This problem generally results to single motherhood and unwanted and abandoned children, which become a family and community concern. Many times I had witnessed homeless children sleeping in sidewalks along commercial buildings with empty boxes as mats without even a blanket or a sheet to cover them from the cold night air and the chilly draft of dawn. One rainy December morning while I and my wife were on our way to the market, we saw children still sleeping on boxes in sidewalks at Kaimo Street, bodies bent with knees almost touching their chin and arms firmly crossed to keep them warm. They seemed not even bothered by the cold sprinkles of drenching rain falling from the eaves of the building. The sight was pitiable and poignant; a despicable view in a location of affluence.

In our walk through the uncharted routes and uncultivated fields of life many of us are trapped between the crossroads and are often bothered by the decisions which trail to follow and what direction to pursue. Because of the uncertainties that cloud our circumstances, we sometimes make wrong choices and failed judgments. And, so we stumble into the mire of hardships and unwanted difficulties. But failure is not an end for those who have the faith and courage. Rising from a critical blunder is an act of positivity which eventually will bring one to an elevated station of success. Life is not measured by the number of failures, but by how you rise up every time you fall. Such was the inspiring story of a mother’s love and a son’s commitment. I wish to share this story to every Surigaonon or to anybody for that matter who might have grappled and wrestled with the hitch of single motherhood. There is hope.

Willyjean  B. Sepria in Singapore

Willyjean B. Sepria or Nening as she is fondly called became a victim of a man’s sweet melodic promises and deceptive ploys which eventually resulted to her giving birth to a son without a father. Such was a very painful encounter of the worst kind. Her womanhood was wrecked and her chance of being married to a more worthy man was dimmed. From such sad experience she seemed to hear the words of Wayne W. Dyer, “With everything that has happened to you, you can either feel sorry for yourself or treat what has happened as a gift. Everything is either an opportunity to grow or an obstacle to keep you from growing. You get to choose.” Nening chose to spring back and stood tall from a critical mess up and serious mistake. She did not want herself and her son to be imprisoned in the realms and sad confines of terrible hardships brought about by her failed judgment. She determined to be a single mother and to focus all her energy, love and affectionate attention to her son John Bert. She raised and reared her son as a lone parent with little assistance from extended family. In her mind perhaps was the thought of a saying: “A single mother has backbone made of steel and a heart made of gold.” Her very meager income from her beauty skills provided for the infancy and childhood needs of her dearly beloved son. Her best wishes were for him to grow and level up from the underlying difficult circumstances which they both suffer. She did all that is possible to provide, nurture and educate John Bert. 

During the wedding day of John Bert and Aileen

However, as John Bert grows and his needs increases income and resources started to become inadequate and the only possible option she found was to join the Filipino diaspora. It was such a painful decision to leave his beloved son at the care of relatives. She was blessed to have been able to find a good and generous employer in Singapore, but the thought of her dear son back home made her nerves unsettled. Then she seemed to hear the words of Louie Giglio, “[Willyjean] God is using your present circumstances to make you more useful for later roles in [John Bert’s] unfolding story.” These words encouraged and motivated her to get going and be more diligent and persistent in her quest to rise above the blues notwithstanding all odds. The battle was difficult and the sacrifice needed was enormous. Yet in her limited capacity she was willing to face the gigantic challenges rather than see her son wallow in the mud of failure. Then with God’s Providence she caught sight of the road to success as she marched beside her son during college graduation rites and in his son’s grand and glorious wedding day. As she stood tall before the wonderful scene of victory, there reverberates the feeling as described by an unknown author: “Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love and twice the pride.” 

John Bert Alburo with wife Aileen

John Bert on the other hand was acknowledged as a son by his biological father for the purpose of giving him a name. But never did he have the opportunity to be supported and guided by a father during his nurturing years. In his infancy and early childhood he must have longed for his father to take him in a clutching embrace and carry his little body into his bosom. How he yearned for his father to hold his little hands and train him how to walk. How he wished for his father to take him by the hand or lift him on his robust shoulders for a walk by the seashore at the back of their home. How he dreamed to sit by his father’s lap to be taught the principles of life. How he imagined both of them sitting in front of a table for his father to assist him in his school assignments. How he craved to play childhood games with his father, and more. Perhaps, last of all how he hoped and envisioned for his father to march with him and his mother in the great and glorious once-in-a-lifetime event---his wedding day. Yet all had remained and will ever remain to be just dreams and unfulfilled longings of the heart. Generally he got needed advices from his grandparents, uncles and aunts who were always available for him when needed. 

John Bert's Ficus Rubiginosa root-on-rock Bonsai tree originally
the size of a barbecue stick now covering the whole rock

In his youth he had the opportunity to visit our home and saw my bonsai collections. Then early in his college years I once visited their home and saw a Ficus Rubiginosa miniature tree planted over a small coral rock. It was John Bert’s first try of a bonsai specimen. I noticed that it was a seed tree and had grown on the rock for quite a while as evidenced by the base being already round as a marble while the trunk was just as big as a barbecue stick. It was getting very limited nutrients through the roots penetrating inside very tiny crevices inside the coral rock. I brought it home and cared and nurtured it. As I followed the life story of John Bert I found that this wonderful Ficus Rubiginosa bonsai which he originally planted on a rock was a fitting symbol of his unwavering personal commitment to reciprocate for his mother’s greatest love and sacrifices, and best wishes for him. The nurturing and love he received from her mother despite hard life were as the nutrients which the bonsai tree got from the very tiny crevices inside the coral rock. Such a root on rock bonsai became an object lesson of John Bert’s relentless efforts and rock-like-steadfastness to survive his journey through life amidst great trials and tribulations. His movement forward to success is represented by the continuing growth of aerial roots which allowed this tiny tree to grow in strength and beauty. 

On their wedding day

John Bert was easily attracted and was observably appealing to women. When I heard that he already had a son out of marriage I thought that this must have been a sad repetition of a critical blunder which happened to his mother. Little did I know that John Bert had long since promised and covenanted never to repeat his depressing and miserable experiences of life upon his children. He trudged an independent journey and charted his own course in preparation for a solid foundation of a home and family which he wanted to create. His joining the Filipino dispersion landed for him a rewarding job in Korea. He worked hard for he wanted to offer her future wife the joy and comfort which was deprived of his mother. As John Bert and Aileen, his wife gracefully and happily marched forward to the matrimonial altar and were pronounced husband and wife, they seemed to see the light gradually purging and eliminating the gloom and shadows of the past, subsequently showing the gleaming brighter prospects of tomorrow.

John Bert and Aileen were so filled with extreme excitement at the time of their wedding day, yet they were able to grasp and will always remember the true meaning of the covenant they have made to live “for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer till death do they part.” It is for them a reminder that married life is not all calm, there will be winds; it is not all sunshine, there will be shadows and rains; it is not all joy, there will come sorrows. But like the bonsai tree planted on the rock by John Bert, he and Aileen will have the sustaining power to overcome the winds of adversities that may happen to blow in their direction as they continue to nourish their relationship with sincere love and devotion to each other and their children.

No matter our failure, there is hope. No matter our difficulties, all doors of opportunities are open for us to choose. No matter how dark the way, there is always light at the end of the tunnel. One need not be discouraged nor forsake and abandon an unwanted son or daughter out of wedlock to beg and sleep on sidewalks in the cold of December nights. They have their own future to create. They have a life to build. One need only the courage and faith to move on, rising from whatever critical blunder in life as did Willyjean and John Bert.