(This is an excerpt from my book)
The Francis Tom and Sheila Paredes Story
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| The couple Francis & Sheila Paredes |
They were both deprived of patriarchal presence and guiding paternal hands. Francis lost his father at age three. Sheila was without a father since birth. They were journeying their common formidable frontiers even in earliest childhood placidly trailing the light that gleams along the dark and dreary road to the future. They were held and guided by the weary but unfailing protective hands of single mother-providers whose hearts are lined with precious rubies and courage reinforced with strongest steel.
Their teenage love story started with attraction and fondness of a 14-year old third year high school student at the Surigao State College of Technology (SSCT) and a 16-year old AB English college freshman at the Saint Paul University-Surigao (SPUS). Sheila was a student of Francis Tom’s mother. In a short time it developed into an infatuation which eventually culminated into a youthful loving relationship which their memory never failed to recall---July 23, 2003. Parents of both believed it is no love at all; they were too young to be in such a relationship that is only allowable for more mature individuals. Vigorous opposition began to mount, especially on the side of Sheila, which is not surprising considering her age of fourteen. A little later, Francis Tom’s mother expressed her clear opposition. But Francis Tom insisted that it is true love amidst everybody’s antagonism. In his young life, he remembered to have viewed and believed Sheila to be his life. He felt his being is empty for each hour that he did not have her in view.
On account of extreme opposition, especially as he was no longer allowed to visit Sheila, he went on heavy drinking and too much drunkenness. He tried to make a visit to Sheila’s apartment, but denied even more intensely by the latter’s grandmother. As a result of his continued attempts to meet with Sheila even in his drunkenness on New Year’s Eve of 2003 notwithstanding the warnings, he was eventually thrown from the motorcycle which he borrowed from his uncle, resulting to a broken front tooth and several abrasions in the body. The accident also caused injury to an old man bystander. In exasperation his mother sent him to the police which incarcerated him for three days for the injury of the old man. For a while he felt continued headaches which he attributed also to the same accident. From such actuations and eventual imprisonment, he thought he will finally be forgotten by Sheila. With his broken tooth and several injuries he imagined that Sheila will be disheartened and dismayed. But instead Sheila showed up and cared for her injuries each day until finally healed. In his final initiation with UPSILON PHI SIGMA ON February 21, 2004, Sheila still assisted her in the healing process of the physical effects of fraternity paddling.
Their teenage love story started with attraction and fondness of a 14-year old third year high school student at the Surigao State College of Technology (SSCT) and a 16-year old AB English college freshman at the Saint Paul University-Surigao (SPUS). Sheila was a student of Francis Tom’s mother. In a short time it developed into an infatuation which eventually culminated into a youthful loving relationship which their memory never failed to recall---July 23, 2003. Parents of both believed it is no love at all; they were too young to be in such a relationship that is only allowable for more mature individuals. Vigorous opposition began to mount, especially on the side of Sheila, which is not surprising considering her age of fourteen. A little later, Francis Tom’s mother expressed her clear opposition. But Francis Tom insisted that it is true love amidst everybody’s antagonism. In his young life, he remembered to have viewed and believed Sheila to be his life. He felt his being is empty for each hour that he did not have her in view.
On account of extreme opposition, especially as he was no longer allowed to visit Sheila, he went on heavy drinking and too much drunkenness. He tried to make a visit to Sheila’s apartment, but denied even more intensely by the latter’s grandmother. As a result of his continued attempts to meet with Sheila even in his drunkenness on New Year’s Eve of 2003 notwithstanding the warnings, he was eventually thrown from the motorcycle which he borrowed from his uncle, resulting to a broken front tooth and several abrasions in the body. The accident also caused injury to an old man bystander. In exasperation his mother sent him to the police which incarcerated him for three days for the injury of the old man. For a while he felt continued headaches which he attributed also to the same accident. From such actuations and eventual imprisonment, he thought he will finally be forgotten by Sheila. With his broken tooth and several injuries he imagined that Sheila will be disheartened and dismayed. But instead Sheila showed up and cared for her injuries each day until finally healed. In his final initiation with UPSILON PHI SIGMA ON February 21, 2004, Sheila still assisted her in the healing process of the physical effects of fraternity paddling.
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| The family |
Like many other boys his age, he has been exposed to the lure of pornography in the internet. In the vulnerability of youth, the smut and obscenity which are common in pornographic materials tempted him and triggered his desire to indulge in sexual experimentations. And their closeness together, resulted in an unwanted and irresponsible act not admissible for their age. They continued to meet, but the opposition on the side of Sheila’s mother increased. In March 2004 they eloped. However, his mother did not consent that they live together in such a very young age. Hence, with his mother’s persuasion, they returned Sheila to her mother. By his mother’s request Francis was allowed to visit Sheila. When Sheila transferred residence at Tagana-an in April of the same year, Francis still followed and visited her to prove the seriousness of his intentions. During one of his visits, driven by their closeness, another undesirable event happened which flamed the ember of opposition that had since been following their youthful relationship. In bitterness, Sheila’s mother swore no longer to allow Francis to visit or see Sheila anymore. He was considered a threat to Sheila’s future.
However, true love amidst flaming opposition finds its way for two hearts to be reunited. Francis clandestinely left his cellphone to Sheila and he eventually contacted her for them to meet once more. And in the same month of April of 2004, they again eloped.
Francis’ mother was so confused at the kind of affection and closeness that these teenaged possessed. While she was short of confidence that such a young love will take root, she eventually consented to help them hide from Sheila’s mother with the assistance of friends until the flame of anger subsides. Perhaps in her mind were wandering the thoughts of Francis’ being charged of kidnapping or any other criminal liability, but not Francis. The flaming opposition turned back to ember as soon as it was known that Sheila was pregnant. She had her first pre-natal check-up in May of the same year. There was nothing that the opposing parents could do but to support Sheila in her pregnancy to make sure of her safety and that of the fetus. Sheila was only 15 years of age. They could not be married in accordance with the provisions of law. Hence, they have to live together in a cohabitation relationship.
However, true love amidst flaming opposition finds its way for two hearts to be reunited. Francis clandestinely left his cellphone to Sheila and he eventually contacted her for them to meet once more. And in the same month of April of 2004, they again eloped.
Francis’ mother was so confused at the kind of affection and closeness that these teenaged possessed. While she was short of confidence that such a young love will take root, she eventually consented to help them hide from Sheila’s mother with the assistance of friends until the flame of anger subsides. Perhaps in her mind were wandering the thoughts of Francis’ being charged of kidnapping or any other criminal liability, but not Francis. The flaming opposition turned back to ember as soon as it was known that Sheila was pregnant. She had her first pre-natal check-up in May of the same year. There was nothing that the opposing parents could do but to support Sheila in her pregnancy to make sure of her safety and that of the fetus. Sheila was only 15 years of age. They could not be married in accordance with the provisions of law. Hence, they have to live together in a cohabitation relationship.
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| With proud mothers and aunt |
Not even his goodly mother-provider had the conviction that he would do well as a husband and father in his youthfulness. She worried that Francis did not even consider the weight of responsibility that was before him as an unemployed young man. But unlike the many young men who shunned responsibility after a mistake, Francis did not eschew his accountability and determined to stand by Sheila and their upcoming child to reciprocate the love that Sheila had shown him. While he was in the Dean’s List during his first year of college at SPUS in 2003-2004, he decided not to study until Sheila delivered the child. Despite his inadequacies as a young man, he wanted to prove that he is worth the love of his wife and forthcoming child. He wanted to drive a tricycle, but no tricycle owner would allow him because he was without a driver’s License. He applied for work at TT and Company and was employed with a daily salary of P90 equivalent to a twelve-hour duty. It was during this employment that he learned to rummage clean left-over foods from the clients of the restaurant and eat the same inside the rest room. He realized he never dreamed to be in such a condition, nor does his mother. Yet he appreciated those trying and deplorable encounters for it helped him learn the hard art of responsibility. He came to recognize the sweetness of freedom that comes with responsibility. It motivated him to do and make better his race to the future. His vision improved and his character changed.
After three months at TT & Company, he transferred to Jolibee. While in this employment their son Ranzi was given birth on November 6, 2004. Sheila was only 16 years old, a mother but not yet a wife. Francis became a father at 18, but not yet a husband. He dogged at supporting the needs of his son and Sheila all by himself. A recap of his and of Sheila’s fatherless march in their earlier life left him wanting and earnestly yearning to be a true father to Ranzi and a faithful husband to Sheila. He wanted never to repeat those sad experiences of childhood when he longed for a father’s hand and there was none to hold. He committed himself with a firm and resolute certitude that he will walk and run by Ranzi’s side as a father. He worked even harder. His efficiency and effectiveness as a worker was recognized; he was promoted and awarded as Best Station Leader. But even then, he came to a moment of deeper consciousness that no matter how hard he tried, his advancement is limited only upon the bounds of his inadequate resume and incomplete qualification. In moments of reflections he came to understand how hard life was to be a father at a very young age and unprepared. He now comprehends the value of listening and obeying parental counsels. Yet, there was no more way to escape the youthful parental responsibility, nor did he have any thought of shunning. He realized his mistake, yet he said, “I did not have any regrets, for notwithstanding my youthfulness, I am pretty sure that she was the woman for me. I love her and she loves me.”
After three months at TT & Company, he transferred to Jolibee. While in this employment their son Ranzi was given birth on November 6, 2004. Sheila was only 16 years old, a mother but not yet a wife. Francis became a father at 18, but not yet a husband. He dogged at supporting the needs of his son and Sheila all by himself. A recap of his and of Sheila’s fatherless march in their earlier life left him wanting and earnestly yearning to be a true father to Ranzi and a faithful husband to Sheila. He wanted never to repeat those sad experiences of childhood when he longed for a father’s hand and there was none to hold. He committed himself with a firm and resolute certitude that he will walk and run by Ranzi’s side as a father. He worked even harder. His efficiency and effectiveness as a worker was recognized; he was promoted and awarded as Best Station Leader. But even then, he came to a moment of deeper consciousness that no matter how hard he tried, his advancement is limited only upon the bounds of his inadequate resume and incomplete qualification. In moments of reflections he came to understand how hard life was to be a father at a very young age and unprepared. He now comprehends the value of listening and obeying parental counsels. Yet, there was no more way to escape the youthful parental responsibility, nor did he have any thought of shunning. He realized his mistake, yet he said, “I did not have any regrets, for notwithstanding my youthfulness, I am pretty sure that she was the woman for me. I love her and she loves me.”
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| Father and son |
As Ranzi came in sight and welcomed the desirable embraces of still confused grandmothers, the remaining ember of opposition dispelled and was eventually extinguished. The fruit of the true love amidst flaming opposition healed the hearts. With better perspective, Francis requested his mother for assistance to go back to college while he tries to work part time to support their other needs. Sheila’s mother on the other hand also offered support. College at SPUS was expensive, so Francis transferred to SSCT. He shifted to a course leading to Bachelor of Science in Education major in English, while Sheila enrolled in the same school to complete her high school education.
To make sure he will have a much better resume as he prepared for future battles with life, he took every opportunity to be involved in extra-curricular activities at school. He was Vice President of the SSCT Student Supreme Government, and later as secretary. He joined Rotaract Club of Metro Surigao and became President. Sheila also joined the UPSILON fraternity and the Rotaract Club.
When the proper time and age came for them to be united in matrimony, they immediately scheduled to join the mass wedding on December 29, 2008. Their wedding was devoid of grandiosities and pretentions. They did not aspire for an elaborate wedding feast. All they wanted was to be legally bound as husband and wife for better or for worse. In love they were united and in dreams and vision for the future, they were not separated.
Francis was eventually graduated with a degree in education in 2009. In a matter of ten days after graduation he was hired to work at Chemical Alloy Corporation as a Lube Specialist and later as Account Manager for Caraga Region. For the first time, he tried to take the Licensure Examination for Teacher (LET), but failed. He was not frustrated. In 2011, he resigned and worked at the Kinglong Trucking and Barging Company (KTBC) as secretary to the General Manager. It was also the time when Sheila graduated from college. She also worked with the Kinglong Trucking to save and prepare for the LET. Together they took the LET, but both failed. That was kind of a trial for them, a test of endurance. But they determined and again saved and prepared for the 2012 LET examination. This time they are blessed as to hurdle together and so became duly licensed teachers. For a moment Francis taught college at the Siargao Island Institute of Technology. Eventually they jointly qualified and was employed at the Alegria National High School in May 2013.
To make sure he will have a much better resume as he prepared for future battles with life, he took every opportunity to be involved in extra-curricular activities at school. He was Vice President of the SSCT Student Supreme Government, and later as secretary. He joined Rotaract Club of Metro Surigao and became President. Sheila also joined the UPSILON fraternity and the Rotaract Club.
When the proper time and age came for them to be united in matrimony, they immediately scheduled to join the mass wedding on December 29, 2008. Their wedding was devoid of grandiosities and pretentions. They did not aspire for an elaborate wedding feast. All they wanted was to be legally bound as husband and wife for better or for worse. In love they were united and in dreams and vision for the future, they were not separated.
Francis was eventually graduated with a degree in education in 2009. In a matter of ten days after graduation he was hired to work at Chemical Alloy Corporation as a Lube Specialist and later as Account Manager for Caraga Region. For the first time, he tried to take the Licensure Examination for Teacher (LET), but failed. He was not frustrated. In 2011, he resigned and worked at the Kinglong Trucking and Barging Company (KTBC) as secretary to the General Manager. It was also the time when Sheila graduated from college. She also worked with the Kinglong Trucking to save and prepare for the LET. Together they took the LET, but both failed. That was kind of a trial for them, a test of endurance. But they determined and again saved and prepared for the 2012 LET examination. This time they are blessed as to hurdle together and so became duly licensed teachers. For a moment Francis taught college at the Siargao Island Institute of Technology. Eventually they jointly qualified and was employed at the Alegria National High School in May 2013.
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| Mother and son |
They were so focused on building the future of Ranzi that they seemed to forget that he is old enough at 11 to yearn for a brother or sister. But they say, it is in the plan. The same year that they started secured employments in a public school, they enrolled for the Master of Arts in Education (MAE). In the course of his master’s education he also started his research on the Sinurigaw grammar and then published his first book of “Sinurigaw: Pormada, Plastada, Tunada, Pasabot” on February 2014 which gave him the opportunity to be a presenter on the 12th Philippines Linguistics Congress at the University of the Philippines-Diliman in November 26-28, 2014 on the subject. On February 2015 his MAE thesis entitled “Impact of Mother Tongue-Based Language of Instruction in Learning English Grammar” qualified and was acknowledged during the 11th International Conference on Bilingual Studies at Chiang Kai Shek College. The same research paper also qualified during the 2nd International Sanrokan Conference on May 13-15, 2015 at the Romblon State University in partnership with UP-Diliman and NCCA.
In May of 2015, Francis and Sheila together marched with humble pride beside their mother-providers who still were mystified and choked with unbelief of their youthful journey to success, as they were together conferred the degree of Master of Arts in Education. Sheila was 27 years old, while Francis has just turned 29.
In May of 2015, Francis and Sheila together marched with humble pride beside their mother-providers who still were mystified and choked with unbelief of their youthful journey to success, as they were together conferred the degree of Master of Arts in Education. Sheila was 27 years old, while Francis has just turned 29.
His popularity and prominence kept pace when he attended a linguistics conference held at the University of Southeast Philippines-Davao, on August 2015 as a presenter on the topic “Language Use by SSG Candidates in 2015 Miting de Avance: English or Mother Tongue.” He is also scheduled on September 23-27, 2015 to present his paper on “Sinurigao: Pormada, Plastada, Tunada, Pasabot at the 9th Free Linguistics Conference organized by the Linguistics Society of the Philippines and De La Salle University in Manila. He will be with his dearly beloved mother-provider, to let her feel that she is not a failure in all her sacrifices for him. Francis is a member of the Linguistics Society of the Philippines and the Linguistics Society of Mindanao. As a teacher by profession, he definitely submits to the wisdom of what former President Elpidio Quirino had to say: “Teachers, as leaders in each community, you should spread light. Go beyond the present horizon. See if you can dig up something which will interest the people and make them follow you as their confirmed leaders." He had this posted on his Facebook timeline.
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| The teenage couple with their son |
He believes that there is no limit to what man can attain and achieve even after a desperate and reckless mistake and subsequent failures. Success comes by diligent effort and unwavering determination to rise from every fall and move forward with unflinching courage and faith.
In their desire to share their love story, especially to the Filipino youth who is now bothered by the statistics that one in ten young Filipino women age 15-19 has begun childbearing and one in five (19 percent) young adult Filipino women age 18 to 24 years had initiated their sexual activity before age 18 according to the results of the 2013 National Demographic and Health Survey (NDHS), Francis has this advice: “It is very nice to love and be loved. But it is best to wait for the proper time, proper circumstance and proper relationship before deciding to marry. To you young men please avoid the ever tempting invitation of pornography and the seductive lure of sexual experimentation; it can be an expensive, dangerous and destructive vice. Wait for the best and proper time to use your procreative powers. To you young women, don’t ever be tempted and persuaded by the lustful offensives of young men your age. There will eventually come in the proper time of your life the best man who will offer his most sincere love and walk with you in a wondrous march to the most sacred altar of matrimony. Sheila and I have made a serious mistake as teenagers and our journey to recovery had never been easy. Good that our puppy love turned mature even at an early age that we had learned to fight our battles and win. I am likewise lucky that Sheila in her teenage must have been looking for the love of a father and perhaps she found it in me, and unexpectedly she loved me without equivocation to be the father of his child and the best husband for her. But it only happens in a million. Young men and young women beware.”
In their desire to share their love story, especially to the Filipino youth who is now bothered by the statistics that one in ten young Filipino women age 15-19 has begun childbearing and one in five (19 percent) young adult Filipino women age 18 to 24 years had initiated their sexual activity before age 18 according to the results of the 2013 National Demographic and Health Survey (NDHS), Francis has this advice: “It is very nice to love and be loved. But it is best to wait for the proper time, proper circumstance and proper relationship before deciding to marry. To you young men please avoid the ever tempting invitation of pornography and the seductive lure of sexual experimentation; it can be an expensive, dangerous and destructive vice. Wait for the best and proper time to use your procreative powers. To you young women, don’t ever be tempted and persuaded by the lustful offensives of young men your age. There will eventually come in the proper time of your life the best man who will offer his most sincere love and walk with you in a wondrous march to the most sacred altar of matrimony. Sheila and I have made a serious mistake as teenagers and our journey to recovery had never been easy. Good that our puppy love turned mature even at an early age that we had learned to fight our battles and win. I am likewise lucky that Sheila in her teenage must have been looking for the love of a father and perhaps she found it in me, and unexpectedly she loved me without equivocation to be the father of his child and the best husband for her. But it only happens in a million. Young men and young women beware.”
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| On their wedding day |
The once dark horizon is now gleaming with light beckoning a brilliant and happier future for Francis, Sheila and Ranzi. Their story of true love amidst flaming opposition had become their bridge across the formidable frontiers which to them unmasked early in life. Opposition is no longer an issue, but respect---with both mother-providers now ever confident that their story of true love did and will eventually weather the storms along their longwinded journey to the future. The grandmothers of the teenaged-borne grandson--- Ranzi---are now waiting with eagerness for a new grandchild that will be born in maturity. Francis and Sheila, still young adults as they remain, are now appreciating the memories of teenage pregnancy and motherhood, and teenage fatherhood, while in constant nurturing of their true love and savoring their exultant accomplishments with better and definite visions to the distant but blooming future.
salamat gajud karajaw mano Norberto!
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