THE BARBER’S DREAM

The Proculo N. Ariar Story

By: Norberto Betita

With his beloved wife on his birthday November 12, 2014

Inside the lobbies of Barber Shops in the Philippines when televisions were still not a part of its entertainment as it is now, there had been so many humorous and sometimes even inspiring stories that were told while patrons are waiting for their turn, which were later popularized in a magazine as “Mga Kuwentong Barbero” (The Barber’s Stories). However, this story is not about a barber’s story told in barber shops, but rather a true-to-life story of a barber in Surigao.

The work of a barber in Surigao is one among the lowliest jobs available. I could remember that during my high school days I have my hair cut for 50 centavos. Now after fifty years, and just recently, each cut is only worth PHP35.00. This is not to mention the share of the barber shop owner which is about half of the cost. So that the barber’s life is really one of “poverty” which Mahatma Gandhi described as “the worst form of violence.” Yet one barber did not look at his poverty stricken life as a barrier for his family’s growth and eventual progress.

With his wife and grandchildren in New Zealand

Proculo N. Ariar was a life-time barber. Although he had worked once as a part-time custodian of a church, yet he has never spent each day not being in a barber shop, except on a Sunday. “Balod,” which he is fondly nicknamed meant waves of the sea tossed to and fro. His poor parents must have called him such instead of getting his nickname from his real name probably because they aren’t sure where he will be launched and unleashed as he takes his journey into life’s roaring seas. His parents could not afford to send him through college and he found no better choice than to take the open door of opportunity as a barber. While in such a lowly career, she married his wife Rolinda with whom he had four children, two boys and two girls. With a large family to feed he had to make good every opportunity to earn more as a barber. He seemed to have been motivated by Shakespeare’s words; “Whate’er thou art, act well thy part.” He determined to do better than his best. His only possibility to increase his income to meet the needs of his growing children was to serve well his clients to their best satisfaction until he was one of those mostly demanded by the prominent men for home service, where tips are generally paid much more than the regular cost of haircut.

With wife Rolinda and daughter Sarah in
in New Zealand

As his children reached school age, he knew he has to double his efforts. He dreamed that he should never ever allow that his children will be constricted or trapped in the lonely boundaries of extreme poverty and deprivations. He did not want his boys to follow the path he trudged as a barber and be barbers themselves. He wanted all his children to rise above the ills and difficulties that he had been going through. He is determined to do all he could to support them in their educational pursuits. Like Dr. T. P. Chia, he believes that, “Poverty and adversity have produced many of the most successful people in the world.” And, this gave him added hope and faith that all will be well for as long as he will not surrender his battle with hard times. He and his wife taught and motivated their children not to be ashamed of their poverty, but to set their heads high above the glooms of deprivations and slowly cross the obscurities and nothingness of the present onwards to the uncertainties of the future. He knew that the doors of future opportunities are wide open for them and he had no hesitations that they will make it with his guiding hands ever at their elbow. 

Tragedy strikes its terror as his eldest son died of drowning in the beach near their humble home. It was to him and his family a very painful experience. However, he faced it with courage and faith. While he did not know the answer to such tragic experience, he believes that God has His own reason. His knowledge of the Gospel allowed him to recuperate early from the pains of losing a loved one. Having been rejuvenated he set anew his focus on his three remaining children and guided them through their individual journey.

With their daughter Sarah's family in New Zealand

For a barber with very meager income, sending his son Rolando through college for a four-year computer course in a private school---San Nicolas College, required an enormous display of courage and faith. He and his wife had to find every available help from extended families to add to his income as a part-time custodian and as a barber where all his energy is invested almost in exhaustion. The immensity of his challenges was even magnified as his daughter Sarah had chosen a nursing course at Butuan Doctor’s College, a private college away from home. While an educational loan was granted, yet the major part of the expenses including the board and lodging had to be supported by him. Before financial demands call, he made sure that he has enough by laboring even more, always having faith that God will never leave him alone and unaided in his challenges. And, he felt never forsaken. 

Their new home

He should have been halfway relieved after his son graduated from college, but his youngest daughter Corazon had to be in college. Although she is a scholar in a government University---the Mindanao State University in Marawi City for a course in Accounting, but all expenses other than tuition are to be shouldered by him. He realized though that he had a barber’s dream which he needed to pursue and track for his children and a U-turn is never an option. He carried on with his struggles until he finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel and out from the dark and the shadows of the lonely trek he saw and felt the magnificent glory of the absolute realization and fulfilment of his dream. His son earned a degree in Computer Science and is now employed with the Bureau of Jail Management. His daughter graduated with a degree in Nursing and is a registered Nurse now working as an Overseas Filipino Worker (OFW) first in New Zealand and now in Australia. The other daughter earned a degree in Accounting, worked while still single, but chose to be a full-time mother after being married.

Daughter Corazon with husband

Battling against poverty and deprivation was never an easy adventure and exploit. But to Balod---the barber dreamer, it is even heartrending and harrowing to witness his children walk the streets in poverty and be a symbol of mankind’s defeat. This he did not want to happen to his children and his posterity. Balod and his family might have been tossed to and fro by the waves of the boisterous unmapped ocean of life but his voyage landed him safely into the blissful shore of success. He is a barber still although retired and enjoying a very meager pension from out of his very lowly career. He still goes to a barber shop to perform haircut, or conduct home service when called upon. However, his life is now elevated a little above poverty level. His long custom built small house where his children were raised is now replaced with a medium-type architecturally designed home which provides for him and his wife a little comfort for their old age. He and his wife spent a vacation in New Zealand and soon perhaps another tour in Australia. He recognized and acknowledged that the Lord made good His promise when He said, “…I, the Lord, would fight [your] battles, and [your] children’s battles, and your children’s children…(D & C 98;37).”

Son Rolando and daughter Sarah in
New Zealand

In the words of Plutarch is quoted: “An imbalance between rich and poor is the oldest and most fatal ailment of all republics.” Indeed it is for even in the small City of Surigao there is a mounting disproportionate figure between the rich and the poor. However, if each Surigawnon and all the Filipinos for that matter will only take courage and catch an optimistic and hopeful vision to rise above destitution, as did Balod---the barber dreamer, there is hope for our country to level up. For according to Celso Cukierkorn, “Poverty is a result of poor choices not of poor luck.” We can choose to be drowned in poverty or opt to step up while the doors of progress are ever open for all. There is no royal road to success, but the same road is always open for every willing and courageous traveler with help perpetually available along the route when sought upon with faith. The Barber’s dream is one example of a modest Surigawnon’s story of faith and courage and eventual triumph.

HOW THE TEACHER OF OUR CHILDREN BECAME OUR PARENTAL EXTENSION

by: Norberto G. Betita

During the teachers’ month I wanted to pay tribute to the Surigawnon educators and particularly to the teacher of our five children who had been our best parental extension.

When my children were starting school, I have come to realize that most of their waking hours were spent at school and under the care of the teachers. Ever since, I have been very grateful for the teachers who became our parental partners and extension in the nurturing and development of our children. I know that the primary responsibility lies upon us--- the parents, yet they have to leave the confines of home in order to grow and progress. While we as parents served as the first teachers, it is in the classroom setting that they have to be taught lessons that provide academic and secular advancement. I find no nobler and ameliorating terminology and librettos that could best describe my greatest appreciation and heartfelt gratitude for the labors they have done which contributed and influenced much the quest for learning and education of my five children.

The meager salaries they get out of their labors for the academic nurturing of forty or more students in each class they handle in partnership with the same number of parents seemed not a fitting equilibrium, yet they felt bound by their professional choice. Their contribution to society and nation building is immeasurable considering that from the highest position of the land; the most prominent of businessmen and professionals; the heads of government departments and corporate CEOs down the lowest positions all have passed tutorials from the most noble teachers. This made Marcus Tullius Cicero to say: “What nobler employment, or more valuable to the state, than that of the man who instructs the rising generation.” Whatever and whoever we are now is a debt that we owe from teachers whose very lives were spent in great sacrifice to provide learning and education and eventual personal advancements for us all and our children. 

As parents, I and my wife have a very notable and unforgettable connection and association with a teacher of our children. When my children entered high school more than 20 years ago, MS. LYDIA LAVARES was just a young Science teacher at the Surigao del Norte National High School. Under her tutelage was my eldest daughter Hazel. We have no blood relations whatsoever, yet we felt that she had great concern for our daughter. We do not know if she extended the same interest on other students as well, but we felt then that we could trust our daughter to her care as a parental extension. She taught with diligence, she helped influence greater desire for learning, and she inspired and aroused her students’ mental faculties to aim high in their academic race. She believed in the words of Anatole France that, “Nine-tenths of education is encouragement.” Our daughter was not in the honor roll, but she encouraged her to take the University of the Philippines College Admission Test (UPCAT), and she qualified to study at UP-Visayas.

Ms. Lavares, a Surigawnon is a mother and a wife herself. She combines her parental responsibility to that of her teaching career. But more than her teaching expertise she’d been a very capable parental partner of the many parents of her students, and that she did not waiver in that extended trust. I trusted her for my children and she did never fail me.

The remaining four of our children all passed her tutelage. During those nurturing and tutoring years our trust for her as our children’s parental extension intensified and compounded. Her continued encouragement fostered and cultivated in our children an even inordinate desire to excel. My son Robert Sherwin graduated seventh honors and qualified for UP-Diliman. My daughter Lori Lynne, although not in the honor roll was best educated preparatory for college. My daughter Kathleen Beth graduated fifth honors and qualified for UP-Cebu. My youngest daughter got the highest honors from first year to third year and graduated valedictorian and qualified for UP-Cebu. In all of these high school achievements of our children, we are totally and extremely grateful to Ms. Lavares for her sincerity and total commitment in our parental partnership. In her we found the verity of Albert Einstein’s words: “It is the supreme art of the teacher to awaken joy in creative expression and knowledge.” I know she has her own family and children to nurture, but during most of the waking hours of my children which were spent in the restraints of the classroom and borders of school, she had been our most trusted parental extension and partner. She is loved by our children and her name has always been in their uncluttered memory. 

Our children have now all graduated from college. Four were already married and have their own families. Ms. Lavares has also grown to become a Master Teacher. She had been an Outstanding Teacher awardee. She even extends her expertise to other students by teaching college on part-time.

As our eldest granddaughter entered high school our connections again reconvened while longtime friendship remained. Indeed, “A teacher affects eternity; [she] can never tell where [her] influence stops.” (Henry Adams). The impact she has effected into the lives of our children are incalculable. As I now reflect on that long years of parental partnership my heart overflows with unremitting gratitude for her tremendous influence. So it is with all other Surigawnon teachers whose nurturing and tutoring have moved many people into achieving success in their individual lives.